Season Three: The Daily Grind

If Season Two was an exciting vacation in the tropics, Season Three was when you get back home, sad that it's over but happy to have things normal again. As far as show quality goes, this was one of the most consistent seasons, which was very good considering that this was the first 24-episode season and the show needed to prove that it has staying power. This season also made shorts a regular feature.

Season Rank and Reflections

Andrew's Rank:

# 4

Mstie Rank:

# 6
Season Three is a good, average season. It has a decent amount of great shows and a large amount of good shows, but its abundance of great shorts give it a boost. Show 301: Cave Dwellers is considered by many to be the first true classic of the series. There were certainly classic shows before it, but I agree that after Season Two's amazing rise, it was important for the show to maintain that level of quality, which it certainly did. We were also introduced to several Gamera movies. "Who is Gamera?" we asked before the season. Now, it's common knowledge.

RPMs (Riffs Per Minute)

While not quite the riff-fest that Season Two was, Season Three was the most consistent season for RPMs as it stayed around an average of 9. Even though it dropped at the beginning of the season, that was really just a recovery from the peak of Season Two. That being said, at the end of this season, RPMs were at levels that wouldn't be seen until late in Season Eight when RPMs fell off.

Andrew's Enshrined & Choice Eps	Mstie Enshrined & Choice Eps
# 3 - 301: Cave Dwellers # 4 - 303: Pod People # 14 - 309: Amazing Colossal Man	# 10 - 303: Pod People # 13 - 306: Time o/t Apes # 14 - 301: Cave Dwellers # 26 - 312: Gamera vs Guiron # 27 - 321: Santa Conquers the Martians

RPM Top 44	Mstie Bottom 44
# 30 - 10.100 - 301: Cave Dwellers # 37 - 10.033 - 306: Time o/t Apes	# 170 - 323: Castle of Fu Manchu # 169 - 305: Stranded in Space # 148 - 320: Unearthly # 135 - 315: Teenage Caveman

Excellence Explained - Why the Good is Good

301: Cave Dwellers -

Andrew's Rank: #3

Mstie Rank: #14

It's no mystery why this show was so good when you consider what was happening at the time it aired. Mst3k had gained a good number of viewers and BBI was fully aware that all eyes were watching to see what the show would do next. Their response was to come out with all guns firing. They gave us a "modern" movie from '87, they gave us a sword & sandal movie for the first time, a high riff count, and great host segments. The opportunity to write a legend was fully seized.

303: Pod People -

Andrew's Rank: #4

Mstie Rank: #10

If "Cave Dwellers" was an opportunity to take the show to the next level, "Pod People" was an opportunity to keep Mst3k firmly at that level. Utilizing the same strengths as "Dwellers" (modern film, a new genre, and great host segments), "Pod People" gave us something that not many episodes up to this point had; a memorable character that Mst3k would make a household name. Say "Trumpy" to any Mstie and visions of wing-ed potatoes will ensue.

Defending My Classics

309: Amazing Colossal Man -

Andrew's Rank: #14

Mstie Rank: #70

I'm kind of surprised by this one. Personally, I think this show has some KILLER and PINPOINT riffing that make it a pleasure to watch every time, but I don't know why the Mstie Community doesn't agree. Perhaps this show came too early for people to latch on to, but I figured the prematurely released VHS would sort of add to its lore, not to mention the, "What kind of a sin could a man commit..." instant catch phrase.

Available on - 22 episodes - 92%
301: Cave Dwellers Box Set #2	310: Fugitive Alien Box Set #24	319: War Colossal Bst Box Set #34
302: Gamera Box Set #21	312: Gamera v Guiron Box Set #21	320: Unearthly Box Set #3
303: Pod People Box Set #2	313: Earth v Spider Box Set #33	321: Santa Cnqrs Mrtns Essentials
304: Gamera v Barugon Box Set #21	314: Mighty Jack Box Set #22	322: Master Ninja Box Set #20
305: Stranded in Space Box Set #36	315: Teen Caveman Box Set #35	323: Castle Fu Manchu Box Set #23
306: Time Apes Box Set #22	316: Gamera v Zigra Box Set #21	324: Master Ninja 2 Box Set #20
307: Daddy-O Box Set #33	317: Vkng Wmn v Srpnt Box Set #34
308: Gamera v Gaos Box Set #21	318: Fugitive Alien II Box Set #24

<< >>

301: Cave Dwellers

RPM

10.100

Vroom!

A+

Fantasy : 1984 : Color :

- Box Set #2

Andrew's Rank:

Mstie Rank:

RPM Rank:


"Thief" is one of Ator's attributes? Umm, no.	Don't start liking this guy. He's not in the movie.	Don't get finger prints all over the Geometric Nucleus, Joel.

I'm huge!	John Fogerty, Freddie Mercury, and Willie Nelson discuss a compilation album.	I've invented the wheel!

What's Miles sitting on there?	Drink it all. Sometimes the poison's on the bottom.

Joel: "Who is this gentle stranger with pecs like melons and knees of fringe?"

Ator

: Our very chiseled, long-haired hero. He's got brains and brawn in spades but has no time for anything other than following his destiny and the call of fate.

Thong

: Ator's oriental sidekick. He never speaks a word but is very intelligent and is handy at fishing and wielding a scimitar.

Akronus

: Wise sage who talks forever using large words. He has hidden the omnipotent Geometric Nucleus from...

Zor

: An effeminate, but nonetheless evil, villain. He was once a student of Akronus and trained with Ator, but decided to walk his own dark path.

Mila

: Daughter of Akronus and unadmitted love interest of Ator.

Ator: "First you must prove to us that you really are the daughter of the great one."

Crow: "If you can look bored and speak haltingly, you're in."

Your standard sword & sorcery flick. Our pectoral-laden hero Ator, his Oriental sidekick Thong (?!?!), and unadmitted love-interest Mila trek across the tire-track-marked wilderness to save Mila's father from Zor, an effeminate, but nonetheless evil, bad guy. He has kidnapped Mila's father, Akronus, to force him to give Zor the "geometric nucleus" which, according to Akronus, is "everything and nothing". So who WOULDN'T want one? Mila is a cutie and kicks an awful lot of butt, except for a huge velvet snake that Ator dispatches solo. Many henchmen are killed, many philosophical conversations are had, many Cave Dwellers are featured for a total of 5 minutes, and many disbeliefs are suspended as Ator assaults Zor's castle with the help of a hang glider. Umm, suuure. Another classic episode. Note: The lady who plays Mila is now a digital effects artist and has been nominated for an Oscar. Neat! Fave character: Zor. Never before has a man so girly been so evil.

Movie: (Ator fights a large serpent.)

Tom: "Just cut the wires, Ator."

This is one of the first episodes I saw. My favorite movie genre is low-grade sword and sandal flicks and this one doesn't disappoint. Joel and the bots are hilarious in this episode and the host segments that make fun of the movie are great! This is also a very important episode in the history of MST3K. After an amazing finish to season two, fans wanted/needed the show to come roaring back, which it certainly did. Most of the movies up to this point had been black and white 50's films or space films. But Cave Dwellers was something different that forever broke the show's exclusive bond to older movies. Also, many fans, myself included, consider this to be the first "perfect" episode with a perfect balance of target movie cheesiness, riffing quality and quantity, and memorable host segments. Enshrinement ease: No-brainer.

Crow: "You can drive a Mack truck through your cues! Tempo! Tempo, people! Pick it up!"

Host Seg Rank:

8
-The crew picks out some new names.

Okay.

Invention

: Joel's smoking jacket invention isn't great but the Mads' robotic arm wrestling is very funny.

Great!

-The crew dresses up and re-enact the credits.

Classic!!

-How to make boring things sound cool with creative names.

Great!

-Joel give the bots a foley sound lesson.

Classic!!

-Tom and Crow highlight movie errors, much to Frank's delight.

Classic!!

Stinger

: Ator claims the fish is cooked before Thong catches any.
-

Andrew's Stinger

: Zor presses Ator's large pectoral.

<< >>

302: Gamera

RPM

8.828

Slow

C-

Mutant Beast(s) : 1965 : Black/White :

- Box Set #21

Andrew's Rank:

117

Mstie Rank:

RPM Rank:

110


Plan "Z" can't stop Gamera, but stubborn grout stains are no match!		Does Gamera fight anyone, or is the secret too amazing to share?

Characters:

The first of many Gamera movies featured on MST3K. This one makes Gamera out to be a very destructive monster, but later movies put him in a world-saving Godzilla-type role. Anyway, the movie starts out with Kenny, a very lonely and outcast child, mainly because he's damn annoying, being scolded by his father for carrying his pet turtle with him everywhere. Kenny seems to care more about the turtle than anything but is convinced to release it. Then Gamera appears and starts to level Tokyo. The army tries to destroy him several times but Kenny gets in the way and convinces them to stop attacking. Further destruction. Then the U.N. develops Z-plan which is immediately executed. It's aim is to trap Gamera in a giant metal bubble and rocket him to Mars. It succeeds and everyone is happy, even Kenny who promises to become an astronaut and see Gamera again someday. Sad, really. Fave character: The U.N. for actually doing something for the good of humanity.

Reflections:

Host Seg Rank:

131
-Tom gets the crew warmed up for the movie.

Okay.

Invention

: Joel has a bottomless salad container and Frank has a bird cage vacuum that's a bit strong.

Great!

-Tom sings a long song to his pet turtle, Tibby.

Classic!!

-Tom and Crow hate Kenny a ton, but they talk it out with Joel.

Okay.

-Gamera visits the SOL and chats about being a turtle.

Okay.

-Tom reviews the movie's characters and the Mads shock Joel's shammies.

Not good.

Stinger

: Eskimo bids farewell, and looks forlorn.

<< >>

303: Pod People

RPM

8.268

Slow

A+

Alien Invasion : 1983 : Color :

- Box Set #2

Andrew's Rank:

Mstie Rank:

RPM Rank:

129


The "Forbidden Zone"? So now we're bringing "Planet of the Apes" into this?	These titles are from a movie called "Galaxy Invader" that makes "Pod People" look like E.T.	It's called "evil", kid.

It stinks!	From left to right: Lives, dies first, lives, dies, dies, dies.	Storms, rockslides, aliens. Uncle Bill is prepared (stocked) for any situation.

Movie: "Not a soul for miles, I suppose."

Joel: "I'm not bringing mine."

Brian & Kathy

: The level-headed couple of the group. Brian knows what to do in any situation and Kathy keeps the women from hysterics. They both die.

Tracy

: The man-eater. She can't find a date for the weekend camping trip so she's trying to find a ranger or a bear to sleep with. She dies.

Rick & Sharon

: The "heroes." Their relationship is strained by Rick's stardom and pseudo-womanizing but the constant death brings them together. They survive.

Laura

: The reason for Rick and Sharon's problems. She hasn't brain cell #1 in her head but she knows that she wants Rick. She dies.

Molly & Uncle Bill

: Brother and sister (I think) that live in a forest cabin. Molly is very intelligent and hates her son's animal collection. Bill is a bit of a mountain man who has a liquor cabinet envied by all. Bill

Tommy

: The high-voiced, red-haired animal lover who brings an alien egg home. He survives.

Trumpy

: The Tommy-named alien that hatches from the egg. His race is killing people but he is too busy inhaling peanuts to join them. Tommy releases him into the forest to avoid getting him killed by all of t

Tom: "Don't worry Tommy. If there's a god and he tends bar, your uncle's bellying up right about now."

This movie happened because every horror genre B-movie, the 80's, and E.T. got thrown into a blender. We start with some hunters seeing a meteor crash but are too interested in poaching to care, save one of them who investigates and finds several large eggs. He opens one and an alien fetus pops out. Disgusted, he smashes several eggs before another alien does him in. A child later finds the nest and the eggs and the dead guy, but that doesn't stop him from adopting an egg and taking it home, eventually hatching it and caring for the alien that emerges. Meanwhile, a rock group with enough people for one death every 10 minutes goes camping but seeks help at the boy's house when one of their members is scared by an alien takes a fall. They and the family arm themselves against the aliens but the boy defends his alien who is nice. But he knows that the grownups won't have it and he abandons the alien in the middle of the woods to fend for itself. Two-thirds of the people in this movie are killed, but the surviving characters enjoy a good hearty smile at the end. Sick. Fave character: Uncle Bill for knowing the best way to cope with aliens is a lot of ammo and booze.

Reflections:	Movie Song: "What should I do..." Crow: "Retire."
This is one of the first episodes that I saw. It is also the first episode I recommended that my family watch with me. They didn't fall in love with MST3K, but they finally understood why I liked it so much. Enshrinement ease: No-brainer.

Tommy: "You can do magic things."

Crow: "It's called 'evil' kid."

Host Seg Rank:

15
-Crow and Tom do dramatic readings.

Great!

Invention

: Joel's explosive chord invention is okay, but the Mads' public domain karaoke machine is great.

Great!

-The crew sing the song from the movie while the Mads lay it down.

Classic!!

-Joel is a New Age musician.

Great!

-Things fly around the SOL, just like Trumpy made happen in the movie.

Classic!!

-Joel sings a touching song of closure, and the Mads think it stinks.

Great!

Stinger

: The vocalist thinks his song stinks.

<< >>

304: Gamera vs Barugon

RPM

8.724

Slow

Mutant Beast(s) : 1966 : Color :

- Box Set #21

Andrew's Rank:

Mstie Rank:

106

RPM Rank:

118


Swing me, Uncle Gamera! Weeeeee!		Does Godzilla know Barugon is fighting someone else?

Characters:

Barugon: A dog-like creature with a projectile tongue, which is icky, and the power to emit from his dorsal spines a magic rainbow of color that destroys everything it touches. Barugon is unleashed by three "friends" who journey to a remote island and enter a cave, much to the dissatisfaction of the village folk, and discover a huge opal. One guy gets killed by a scorpion and the other falls victim to a cave-in, both at the hands of their villainous third member. He takes the opal to the mainland where it hatches and out pops Barugon. The cave-in survivor and a village cutie, go to the mainland and aid the army in stopping Barugon which they do and leave him for Gamera to finish off. The evil guy who brought the egg ashore dies, our hero falls in love with the village cutie after she sucks a bullet out of his arm, and Gamera lives to spin another day. Fave character: The village cutie. Anyone who can suck a bullet out that fast... never mind.

Reflections:

Host Seg Rank:

61
-It's IBM vs. Mac as the user interface wars rage on.

Great!

Invention

: Joel has a remote control pop can. The Mads have the Cumber-Bubble-Bunt.

Okay.

-Tom describes the Gamera and Tokyo play set with LOTS of fine print.

Classic!!

-Tom and Crow eat out and try the Vanilla Cross-Country Killing Spree.

Classic!!

-The crew lounge on the beach and discuss stars in the film.

Okay.

-Joel has recommended reading about Gamera and Dr. F reads "The Stand".

Okay.

Stinger

: Gleeful spelunker.

<< >>

305: Stranded in Space

RPM

7.757

Snail

Alien Invasion : 1973 : Color :

- Box Set #36

Andrew's Rank:

100

Mstie Rank:

169

RPM Rank:

145


I guess being seen on one TV set in the world still counts as a world premiere.		Actually, it looks like he's stranded at a local college.

Characters:

This movie is actually the pilot for a failed 70's series called "The Stranger" about an astronaut, Neil Striker, whose ship has some difficulty and crashes back to Earth. But it's not Earth. It's another planet in exact opposite orbit from Earth named "Terra". Earth and Terra are identical in atmosphere, languages, and technology, but most people are left handed. Also, the inhabitants have adopted a very controlled and shadowy but efficient way of life called "The Perfect Order" in which there is no war or hunger or long lines at the DMV and phone calls are free but history and religion are outlawed. Neil escapes from a hospital where he is being drugged and forced to give information about Earth's space program. The Perfect Order Director- elect, Cameron Mitchell, hunts Neil down, giving lobotomies to and/or killing all who aid Neil. Neil tries to hijack a shuttle to get back to Earth but Cameron foils his plans. The shuttle explodes and everyone is satisfied that Neil died in the explosion, except Cameron. So our movie ends with Neil escaping, Cameron ready to hunt him down, and Neil's lobotomized Terran girlfriend finding his dog tag. If you ask me, it's all a GREAT setup for an interesting show, but not a good movie on its own. Fave character: Cameron Mitchell for knowing that Neil roaming free could mean the end of free phone service on Terra.

Reflections:

Host Seg Rank:

75
-Tom and Crow are a shooting gallery.

Okay.

Invention

: Joel and the Mads duel with gag weaponry. Kachow!

Classic!!

-Tom and Crow scam each other's TV collectors cards.

Great!

-Crow and Tom discuss what Ward E feels like and Joel is naughty.

Okay.

-Joel is a generic crime boss, but no one can understand his metaphors.

Great!

-Tom is a producer and a turtle-necked Frank sees only middle management.

Great!

Stinger

: Woman strikes Striker.

<< >>

306: Time o/t Apes

RPM

10.033

Speedy

C+

Futuristic/Apocalyptic : 1974 : Color :

- Box Set #22

Andrew's Rank:

Mstie Rank:

RPM Rank:


Can we adjust the antenna in the time of the apes so it comes in clearer?		You finally did it, you maniacs! You copied my movie!

Characters:

	Movie:

Reflections:

Host Seg Rank:

72
-The crew play T-ball and break a window which depressurizes the SOL.

Great!

Invention

: Joel's Cellulite Phone is just okay, and Frank's Miracle Baby formula is interesting.

Okay.

-Why doesn't Johnny care?

Okay.

-The crew put on a Scopes Monkey Trial reenactment.

Great!

-Crow presents this year's ape fashions.

Classic!!

-The crew sing the pull-no-punches Sandy Frank song. Frank and Dr. F don't want to change the baby.

Great!

Stinger

: Johnny doesn't care.

<< >>

307: Daddy-O

RPM

9.444

Steady

B-

Drama : 1959 : Black/White :

- Box Set #33

Andrew's Rank:

Mstie Rank:

RPM Rank:

Short:

Alphabet Antics


Daring to suck.		Can I borrow the car-O?

Characters:

Neat, compact little movie that has cars and rock and love and drugs. We begin with a truck and a car crowding each other on the road. The drivers are Phil, a former stunt car driver and great singer and Sandra, a blonde hottie who isn't a bad driver either. Phil doesn't like Sandra and lets her know it. She doesn't care. They decide to settle things with a car race. One of Phil's friends says he can't go and gives him a key and runs home. He is killed in transit. Phil goes to clean out his locker but the gym attendant won't let him in. Turns out the gym attendant works for a fat cat who is into drugs. They both decide to keep and eye on Phil by offering him a lot of money to sing at his club and drive a car to a bridge and throw a package out of a car window. Phil get suspicious and finds out that he, and his deceased friend, have been delivering drugs. He threatens to go to the police but Sandra is kidnapped and Phil has to rescue her. He does and the bad guys are taken into custody. The boredom of the movie is broken by the oddity of altitude of our hero's belt line and by the admittedly well done music. Dick Contino, Phil, wrote the rock songs and the incidental music score was composed by THE John Williams. Fave character: John Williams because the best thing about the movie was the music and Mr. Contino is not a very pleasing actor.

Reflections:

Host Seg Rank:

10
-Joel and the bots gossip around the water cooler.

Great!

Invention

: Joel's air freshener mobile is justified by his hilarious speech, and the Mads' alien teething nook is cute.

Classic!!

-No pants are higher than mine!

Classic!!

-The bots drag race and run Joel down several times.

Classic!!

-Bruce appears and wants his key back, fella.

Great!

-Joel slaps several pieces of fruit. The Mads' button is broken.

Okay.

Stinger

: Bruce outlines the gym's customer service policy.
-

Andrew's Stinger

: Jana asks Phil, "Want some?"

<< >>

308: Gamera vs Gaos

RPM

9.318

Steady

B+

Mutant Beast(s) : 1967 : Color :

- Box Set #21

Andrew's Rank:

Mstie Rank:

125

RPM Rank:


How are the monsters missing each other at point-blank range?	What's "grey" in Japanese?	Did someone write that with soap on a window?

Gaos must really pit out shirts.	Itchy. He has a large heart, and large everything else.

Characters:

Gaos: Has wings, a flat triangular head, and the ability to shoot a destructive beam of concentrated sound waves. This time around, a major highway is being built and must go straight through farmland to be completed. So that's our subplot. The highway crew investigates a nearby mountain and sees a green glow. A lone news reporter climbs the mountain with the help of Itchy, our kid pal, to get some photos. But Gaos eats the reporter and kidnaps Itchy. Enter Gamera to save Itchy and battle Gaos, only to be horribly defeated. So the military must come up with a way to stop Gaos on their own while Gamera heals himself. They, with the help of newfound military mastermind and large monster expert Itchy, do have several good ideas, but they only coerce Gaos into destroying stuff. However, this weakens Gaos just enough for Gamera to torch him to death, and Gaos' carcass eventually dries up in the sunlight. Oh, and the farmers decide to sell their land to the government because the new road will be good for the village. Fave character: Itchy's grandpa for standing strong against his government and his greedy villager friends. In a tear-jerking scene, Itchy defends Grandpa against an angry mob of villagers by throwing his toy planes. Itchy's old and mobility limited grandpa then goes to pick up the broken pieces of Itchy's beloved toys.

Reflections:
Walk quietly among other men, but know their powers for they are your enemies. Quietly crush them as you work diligently through the night. Pay attention to the man being the curtain for he is your ally. Drink deeply and lustfully from the foamy draught of evil. Do it to the other guy before he does it to you, and be bad to the bone. Won't you? Thank you.

Host Seg Rank:

130
-The crew imitate raspy-voiced celebrities.

Not good.

Invention

: The Mads have mental printers which are okay as is Joel's Kleenex fax machine.

Okay.

-Joel instructs arts and crafts time, but the bots tell kids to eat paste and cut up encyclopedias.

Great!

-The crew put on a stage production of Gamera Damera that doesn't last very long.

Okay.

-Crow hosts a talent show where Joel is a plate spinning juggler.

Classic!!

-The crew come up with other ways to get rid of Gaos. Frank submits a way to off Dr. F.

Okay.

Stinger

: Scary lightshow causes goofy embrace.

<< >>

309: Amazing Colossal Man

RPM

8.483

Slow

A+

Mutant Human(s) : 1957 : Black/White

Andrew's Rank:

Mstie Rank:

RPM Rank:

123


Yes, he's growing to a giant and a monster, but when will he grow to become a man?	Amazing Colossal Gobstopper?	No, really. Glen's heart is a single cell. Stop laughing!

Come back covered in ketchup!

Movie: (Plutonium bomb fails to detonate.)

Joel: "Hit it! Wiggle the plug or something."

Glen

: The ACM himself. A nice guy who goes nuts with being huge and contemplates his sins with...

Carol

: Glen's fiance. Loving and understanding. She's with Glen through the thick and thin and huge despite the military barring her.

Drs. Linstrom & Coulter

: They try to figure out what's wrong with Glen and determine his single cell heart is causing the problem and invent a huge hypodermic needle to reverse his growth.

Movie: (Videos of A-bomb testing in which a house is vaporized.)

Joel: "This is your house and you're in it and I'm out here laughing."

Suspend your disbelief. Done? Okay. Colonel Glenn Manning and his platoon are assigned to watch a nuclear bomb go off. It's a dud, but the possibility of an explosion still exists when Manning runs out to save the pilot of a plane that happened to crash at ground zero. Oops! The bomb goes off, but Manning is not injured. In fact, he feels great! So great, that he begins to grow by feet a day. But this is not good because his heart, made of a single cell (I said to suspend that disbelief!), can't stand his bigger body. Some Army doctors develop a cure and build a giant syringe to inject the cure into Glenn's bone marrow. Ouch! They do, but Glenn doesn't feel too good and celebrates his curing by spearing the doctor with the syringe, trashing Las Vegas, and taking a fatal dive from Hoover Dam as his bride-to-be watches in suspended disbelief. Fave character: Glenn who used his powers for evil only AFTER he went mental.

Reflections:	Crow: "The poor bum's screams were muffled by a throat full of his own blood."
I joined a movie club because they had a MST of the month deal and this was the first tape I received. That meant that I could watch this episode as much as I wanted. And I wanted a lot. It taught me what 50's B-movies were all about. Enshrinement ease: No-brainer.

Surgeon: "He's already lost enough body fluid to be fatal."

Tom: "Then what the heck are we doing here? Let's go have a sandwich. I've got THINGS to do!"

Host Seg Rank:

16
-Tom and Crow are not allowed to fraternize with the human.

Great!

-Joel's non-permanent tattoo is clever, and the Mads' music-reviewing plant is pretty funny.

Great!

-Joel teaches the bots how to be sensitive.

Classic!!

-Joel role plays as Glen and the bots are inquisitive doctors.

Classic!!

-Glenn visits the SOL.

Great!

-The crew discusses what they'd do if they were tall. Frank gets poked.

Great!

Stinger

: Glenn's laughter is contagious.
-

Andrew's Stinger

: Glenn asks, "What sin could a man commit in a single lifetime to bring this upon himself?"

<< >>

310: Fugitive Alien

RPM

9.770

Speedy

C+

Space Travel : 1978 : Color :

- Box Set #24

Andrew's Rank:

Mstie Rank:

108

RPM Rank:

In space!!!

Characters:

This movie and its sequel both consist of two episodes of a Japanese TV series edited together. Perhaps something is lost in translation, but it's never really clear what the heck is going on. It starts with a group of "aliens", guys in space suits with helmets with long hair attached to them (???), invading Earth and shooting humans. One alien, Ken, refuses to kill a boy and his mother much to the chagrin of his companion. They argue and Ken accidentally kills his friend. He runs away and is thus pursued by the alien leader. The crew of Baccus 3 finds him floating in space an rescues him. They discover his identity and also his superhuman strength. Captain Joe makes Ken a member of the crew. The rest of the movie is like a fever dream, what with the English translation and TV series plot. They land on a planet and have some negotiations and Ken gets thrown in jail and helps a commander escape and they get back to the ship and it takes off. The end. Fave character: Ken, I guess. He seems like a good guy.

Reflections:

Host Seg Rank:

123
-Joel is a dairy farmer with bot chickens and a Gypsy cow.

Great!

Invention

: The Mads have a mega medicine dispenser, and Joel has a Musical Chair. Jack Perkins leads us into the movie.

Great!

-The crew have a hat party and make fun of the Mads. Jack Perkins still talks.

Not good.

-The crew role play the movie and Joel goes nuts.

Great!

-Joel teaches the bots the facets of a screenplay and how this movie sticks to his example.

Okay.

-Joel has a bunch of shirt buttons. The Mads lobotomize Jack Perkins.

Great!

Stinger

: Ken is stuck here!

<< >>

311: It Conquered the World

RPM

8.983

Steady

Alien Invasion : 1956 : Black/White

Andrew's Rank:

Mstie Rank:

RPM Rank:

100

Short:

Snow Thrills


Every dollar is wasted.		No, "It" didn't.		I bet you think I'll learn too late that man is a feeling creature.

Characters:

Peter Graves, Beverly Garland, Lee Van Cleef, can't save this poorly titled 50's alien-invaders picture. Graves plays Paul whose best friend is Tom. They are both scientists. Paul develops a great big satellite and sends it into orbit, but it goes missing. Turns out that Tom has been talking with an alien from Venus and has helped the alien hijack the satellite for a trip to Earth. Tom believes that the alien visitor will bring the end of war and famine and etc etc. Paul is a tad upset the alien lands in his stolen ride and starts to mind-control everyone, including Paul's wife whom Paul then kills. Tom's wife (Garland) goes vigilante and assaults the okra-bodied, crab-clawed alien with a shotgun, only to be killed. Tom starts to see the error if his ways and decides to take care of the alien himself. He convinces the military to cease bombarding the alien with assault rifles and bazookas long enough to step in with a flame thrower and kill the alien with a shot of fire to the eye. Tom is killed during the struggle and Peter is left to monologue that "Man is a feeling creature..." which Joel, the bots, and the Mads milk for quite some time. Fave character: Peter Graves keeps all his characters cool in the face of world domination.

He learned almost too late that man is a feeling creature and because of it, the greatest in the universe. He learned too late for himself that men have to find their own way; to make their own mistakes. There can't be any gift of perfection from outside ourselves. And when men seek such perfection, they find only death, fire, loss, disillusionment, and the end of everything that's gone forward. Men have always sought and end to the toil and misery. But it can't be given, it has to be achieved. There is hope. But it has to come from inside, of man himself.

Host Seg Rank:

109
-Crow is a ventriloquist dummy.

Okay.

Invention

: Dr. F's noose costume is just okay as is Joel's musical conch shell.

Okay.

-The crew mock the short, complete with Tom's hilarious narration.

Classic!!

-The crew insult each other over dinner.

Okay.

-The crew discuss Hollywood siblings and sing a song.

Okay.

-Everyone eats their TV dinners and watches, awe-stricken, at Peter's speech.

Great!

Stinger

: He learned almost too late that man is a feeling creature.

<< >>

312: Gamera vs Guiron

RPM

8.751

Slow

Mutant Beast(s) : 1969 : Color :

- Box Set #21

Andrew's Rank:

Mstie Rank:

RPM Rank:

114


Foul! This movie doesn't take place in space!		Cornjob in color!		Geeron? Gweeron? Gooeyron?

Characters:

	Movie:

Reflections:

Host Seg Rank:

4
-Tom and Crow swap lunches. Tom has a gushy letter from his mom.

Great!

Invention

: The Mads have inkblot centerfolds of Frank's mother. Joel has a collapsible trash can.

Classic!!

-A Gamera song with MST3K lyrics.

Classic!!

-Joel saws Crow in half with Guiron, but Crow ruins it.

Okay.

-A pageant about the life of Richard Burton.

Classic!!

-Yet another Gamera song with Japanese lyrics. Michael Feinstein entertains the Mads.

Classic!!

Stinger

: Two youngsters admire monsters.

<< >>

313: Earth vs the Spider

RPM

8.079

Slow

Mutant Beast(s) : 1958 : Black/White :

- Box Set #33

Andrew's Rank:

Mstie Rank:

RPM Rank:

136

Short:

Speech: Using Your Voice


Were flames ever tried?		Well, "Small Midwest Town with an Angry Janitor Vs The Spider" anyway.

Crow: "(As the sheriff) So I was sitting by myself the other day and I said 'spider'! Ha ha ha ha!"

Carol

: Her AA-candidate father goes missing after work one day and she's out to find him with the help of...

Mike

: Carol's boyfriend who tells it like it is, much to Carol's annoyance.

Mr. Kingman

: High school science teacher who becomes our spider expert and so assists...

Sheriff Cagel

: Grizzled lawman who is skeptical about a huge spider and thinks the whole thing is a laughing matter.

Carol: "Where's [my father] now?"

Tom: "On the side of the road, his head caved in like a ripe melon, face down in a pool of his own... Hey, what'd I say?"

More like "Small Town vs. the Spider". One night, Carol's dad goes missing and she is pretty upset about it, especially when Mike dismisses him as a drunkard who is just passed out somewhere. Yet, Mike and Carols investigate a stretch of road and find her dad's crashed truck and what appears to be a rope stretched across the road. They investigate a nearby cave and are attacked by one hugenormous spider. They flee back to town and inform the local law. The sheriff doesn't believe them, but agrees to investigate since they found the crashed truck. But not wanting to be unprepared, they also bring a tanker truck of DDT, which is a good move since they find a giant spider web. The spider kills the DDT sprayer man before the DDT kills it. They haul the spider back to town and store him in the high school gym. Surprise!, the spider awakens and kills and maims and destroys before retreating back to the cave. The sheriff and posse are in hot pursuit and blow up the cave entrance to trap the spider in the cave. However, Mike and Carol are also trapped as they went back in the cave to find a necklace that Carol dropped. The cave is dug into from the top and an electrode is dropped down to Mike which is used to electrocute the spider to death. Yay, the end. This movie stays true to the Bert I. Gordon style of storytelling, and the MST3K episode is very enjoyable. Fave character: The sheriff. Calm in an emergency, even if it involves a big flippin' spider.

Reflections:	Movie: "It's what we ordinarily call a bird spider." Joel: "This one's a big flippin' bird spider."
This is only a recent addition to my favorites list due to the poor quality of the available copies and slow riffing, but giant spiders are great bad cinema! Also, what's with all of the Season One callbacks with "Thank You" and RAM chips? Funny and nostalgic, but curious.

Host Seg Rank:

55
-Tom and Crow put on a talk show and thank each other until it hurts.

Classic!!

Invention

: The Mads' Cheese Phone is just okay as is Joel's CD Hairdryer. However, the "Thank You" callback is priceless!

Okay.

-Crow writes a screenplay called "Earth vs. Soup" in which soup slithers on all fours.

Classic!!

-The crew are rock band Spydor, but the universal janitor tells them to be quiet.

Not good.

-The crew make Creeple People and talk about unsafe toys.

Okay.

-Tom and Crow do reports on Bert I. Gordon and Crow's is hilariously wrong. Frank gets sick.

Classic!!

Stinger

: Old guy fails to use lip and tongue action.

<< >>

314: Mighty Jack

RPM

9.728

Speedy

B-

Cops/Spies : 1968 : Color :

- Box Set #22

Andrew's Rank:

Mstie Rank:

113

RPM Rank:


Bank turns and suitcase-loving villains!		Mighty Jack syrup completes this breakfast!

Characters:

Some MST3K episodes are actually TV shows glued together as movies, as is this one. But this movie contains the first and last episodes of the TV series. So anything that happened in between is missing. No wonder the viewer has no idea what's going on. But I'll do my best to describe it. Mighty Jack is the maritime equivalent of Star Trek meets Batman. The crew of the Mighty Jack has all sorts of gadgets at their disposal to fight the evil organization known as Q, headed up by a guy with huge sunglasses and a cat companion. Q tortures people by shining blinding lights in their face. MJ's first mission is to rescue a man who turns out to be the commander of MJ. The second half of the movie pits them against Q who can make water instantly turn to ice and back again. I think they use it to make their fortress invisible in the ocean after they attack, but can't the missiles and guns still be seen? Anyway, MJ launches a direct frontal assault on Q, destroying the island. Then the leader of Q kills himself. Really a weird little movie with bad models and cheap effects and tons of stuff blowing up. Fave character: I really don't know who anyone is.

Reflections:

Host Seg Rank:

1
-Joel Robinson's dead!!!! Face!

Classic!!

Invention

: The Mads' Formal Flippers are great, as are Joel's earmuffs.

Classic!!

-The bots create a dog food commercial for Mighty Jack.

Classic!!

-Joel doesn't succumb to the bots blinding lights or poison sandwich.

Classic!!

-Joel gets out of control with his underwater camera effect.

Great!

-The crew sing "Slow the Plot Down" and Frank spouts pirate poetry.

Great!

Stinger

: Fritz loves his suitcase.

<< >>

315: Teenage Caveman

RPM

9.152

Steady

Futuristic/Apocalyptic : 1958 : Black/White :

- Box Set #35

Andrew's Rank:

Mstie Rank:

135

RPM Rank:

Short:

Aquatic Wizards

Short:

Catching Trouble


Due to low budget, the giant menacing dinosaur shown here has been replaced by a deep-fried old guy.		Can I borrow the mastadon to go over to Jimmy's cave?

Tom: "How about dinner, movie, and a drag by the hair?"

Main Cave Teen

: He's not satisfied with things in general. He constantly breaks tribal law and questions its legitimacy, which puts a damper on his ascension to manhood. He is supported by...

His Father

: The "Symbol Maker" of the tribe. He just wants his son to be accepted by the tribe but understands his inquisitive nature. They are both rivaled by...

Black-bearded Tribal Elder

: He is a staunch believer in strict adherence to the law and demands the death of anyone who is not. He's trigger happy and slightly evil.

The God

: Larger than a man but not as big as the great animals, he has claws like the swamp creatures and can cause death with his touch. But is he really a god?

Movie: "When the fire returns to the sky..."

Joel: "You mean morning?"

Sure, this movie is bad. But you must admit that despite the small budgets he worked with, Roger Corman was a sort of genius. This movie is my favorite of his. It begins by reminding us how God created the world and stuff and leads us to believe that we are watching a budding prehistoric civilization. But one of our cave-youth questions the mysterious "law" which warns of the land on the other side of the river as being treacherous and being home to a god that can kill you with his touch. But what is this "law"? Where did it come from? What does it mean? It is real? So he keeps going to the land across the river which really upsets one of the jerk tribe elders who demands the youth's death. But his dad comes to his rescue again and again until the youth finally decides to become a man and take a woman, oh ya!, and settle down. But it's not long before he journeys to the forbidden land and meets the evil god who doesn't seem all that evil. The jerk elder kills the god and the youth kills the jerk elder. He examines the remains of the god and finds a book with pictures of generals and cities and nuclear bombs. Then a voice over tells us that this god is actually a man in a radiation suit who lived through, but was deformed via, a nuclear war to end all life and the cavemen are actually the descendants of the survivors of the war. Heavy. Fave character: The youth. He's young, he's smart, he's got a hot cavewoman, he's got great parents, he invented archery, he discovered a new fertile land, AND he killed his nemesis. My man has got it goin' on!

Reflections:
Roger Corman has his own style of movie making. Sure, it's low-budget, but he always does the best with what he has and this one has a poignant message and a neat plot twist.

Tribe elder: "One of the clan has come to manhood."

Tom: "At the tender age of 37."

Host Seg Rank:

80
-Joel and the bots are bored until Gypsy wants to play poker.

Okay.

Invention

: The crew have invented several ipecacs which are okay. The Mads fight over theirs.

Classic!!

-Tom narrates "Catching Ross" as Joel exacts revenge upon the famous animal tormenter.

Classic!!

-Dr. F and Frank are still engaged in epic combat.

Great!

-Joel discusses arch-conservatism, such as pineapple pizza.

Not good.

-Tom and Crow are the monster from the movie while the Mads resolve their differences.

Okay.

Stinger

: Cave teen, watch out for that tree!
-

Andrew's Stinger

: "What does he do?" "He makes a sleeping place for him and his woman."

<< >>

316: Gamera vs Zigra

RPM

8.729

Slow

Mutant Beast(s) : 1971 : Color :

- Box Set #21

Andrew's Rank:

Mstie Rank:

119

RPM Rank:

117


See Gamera barf on Zigra.		... in grey!		I'm missing Godzilla right now.

Characters:

Zigra: A fish with spikes on his back, a Marlin-like horn, and limited mind- controlling abilities. Kenny and Helen, our kid pals, don't wanna go to school so they hide on their fathers' boat. Their fathers are marine biologists who lament about the effect of pollution on the ocean. All four are zapped up into a spaceship and confronted by a woman who calls herself a Zigran. The fathers are hypnotized into sleep. The kids take the men and escape from the ship with the help of Gamera who battles Zigra but is wounded. Meanwhile, the fathers AND the Zigran woman are revived. The woman then reveals that she is from Earth but was hypnotized by Zigra to do his will. She goes on to say that Zigra's plan is to scare the world into becoming a host colony for Zigra, a human eater, who left his own planet because the water got too polluted. The fathers journey to the bottom of the ocean to find and revive Gamera. Zigra shows up and damages their submersible. But they do help Gamera enough to revive him and he rescues the submersible and kills Zigra. Fave character: The Zigran woman who is not only cute, but ends up on the good side.

Reflections:

Host Seg Rank:

39
-The crew has a root beer kegger and Magic Voice has had enough.

Great!

Invention

: The Mads have Three Stooges weapons and Joel has converted Crow into a shish kabob.

Okay.

-The bots has a model of Gamera that explains how Gamera works, complete with guts.

Great!

-The bots do Gamera dioramas. Tom goes crazy and Joel goes sappy.

Classic!!

-Gamera and some kids stop by.

Okay.

-The crew each sing their version of the Gamera theme, while the Mads rock out.

Classic!!

Stinger

: The marine biologist vents.

<< >>

317: Viking Women vs the Sea Serpent

RPM

9.302

Steady

B-

Fantasy : 1957 : Black/White :

- Box Set #34

Andrew's Rank:

Mstie Rank:

121

RPM Rank:

Short:

Home Economics Story


Actually, this isn't too bad. There WERE women, and there WAS a sea serpent. Nice!		Ticket stubs were three feet long for this movie.

Characters:

Roger Corman directs this epic. A group of Viking men that left on a quest has not returned and a group of their female counterparts is a little angry at this because the lawn has not been cut for months. They set off in search of the men with the help of a lone Viking man. Why he didn't go with the rest of the men? With the rest of them gone his chances are pretty good. Anyway, the women run into the Sea Serpent who wrecks their boat and maroons them on an island. But not just any island. This is the island where their male friends are held slave to a warrior tribe. What luck! The warriors capture the women to use them for, well, you know. But the women escape and free the men but they're all captured again but then they escape again and run to the beach where they find some boats and sail for home. The warriors give chase but are eaten by the Serpent. The end. The Viking men don't really fit my stereotype of Vikings. They're more like Viking hairdressers. Fave character: The Viking priestess. She's hot, she's evil, and she can command the storms. Oh, ya!

Reflections:

Host Seg Rank:

82
-Joel makes waffles and recommends wrapping a hot dog in one.

Great!

Invention

: Joel's Waffle Iron is okay, but Frank's Meat Reanimator is hilarious!

Classic!!

-The bots are reprogrammed to love waffles.

Not good.

-Waffles!

Not good.

-No waffles! Which means no little league baseball and rampant Communism.

Classic!!

-The crew sing a song about waffles and Frank gets shocked.

Great!

Stinger

: You don't understand. I'm a prince!

<< >>

318: Fugitive Alien II

RPM

8.786

Slow

C+

Space Travel : 1978 : Color :

- Box Set #24

Andrew's Rank:

Mstie Rank:

RPM Rank:

111

Star Force 1, Fugitive Alien 2, bottom of the 6th.

Characters:

	Movie:

The "Tom Resuscitation" skit starts out promising, but this is the kind of skit that CAN'T go on too long as it requires the viewer to have no chance to think about what's happening. They should only be shocked by it and then fall hard when the rug is pulled out from under them (see the "Joel's Dead" skit from 314: Mighty Jack). This one gives plenty of thinking time and ends like it should, so no surprise. That's just my take.

Host Seg Rank:

37
-Crow and Tom argue over what makes a puppet a puppet.

Classic!!

Invention

: The Mads' Super Schnoz and Joel's Big Head are amusingly lame.

Great!

-A dramatic segment in which Tom and Crow resuscitate Tom goes on a little long.

Not good.

-The Captain Joe action figure and play set are hilariously dark.

Classic!!

-The crew perform the Fugitive Alien song medley. This segment fires on ALL cylinders.

Classic!!

-The crew create a more evil villain.

Okay.

Stinger

: Crewman claims to have everything fixed, even as lights flash and violent shaking ensues.

<< >>

319: War o/t Colossal Beast

RPM

9.018

Steady

C-

Mutant Human(s) : 1958 : Black/White :

- Box Set #34

Andrew's Rank:

116

Mstie Rank:

RPM Rank:

Short:

Mr. B Natural


If the tank fires a round into Glen's empty eye socket is that worth more points like in Skeeball?		What is war with a colossal beast good for? Nothin'! Say it again!

Characters:

This is a sequel to "The Amazing Colossal Man". And by that I mean that the storylines are somewhat linked, but the people are different. Glenn, the colossal man, has been sighted in Mexico after apparently taking the death plunge from Hoover dam. As always, the U.S. military is all over it and confirms Glenn's existence and that he's been lifting food delivery trucks, literally LIFTING them, to stay alive. They put him to sleep with drugged bread and bring him back to the states where they chain him to the floor of and airplane hanger until they figure out what to do with him because he has suffered mental breakdown and can't be reasoned with. Oops, he escapes and walks around with a school bus full of kids before his sister convinces him to put it down. In a touching ending, Glenn recognizes his sister and then commits suicide by grabbing some power lines and disappearing into thin air in a vibrant display of hues as the last minute of the movie is in color. Interesting note: The actor playing General Nelson also plays Merlin in show #1003. Fave character: Glenn for saving us the trouble of cleaning up his large carcass after he passes.

Reflections:

Host Seg Rank:

159
-The crew invent new Mexican foods.

Okay.

Invention

: The Mad's Breakfast Bazooka is okay, as is Joel's Between Mean Mortar.

Not good.

-Was Mr. B a man or a woman? Crow and Tom have a heated debate.

Great!

-Glenn stops by, interrupting the Big Head song, and he's mad about not being in the sequel.

Great!

-Joel predicts the future, newsman style.

Not good.

-Glen reads a letter, Dr. F bazookas Frank.

Okay.

Stinger

: Mr. B prances around.

<< >>

320: Unearthly

RPM

8.259

Slow

Mutant Human(s) : 1957 : Black/White :

- Box Set #3

Andrew's Rank:

163

Mstie Rank:

148

RPM Rank:

130

Short:

Appreciating Our Parents

Short:

Posture Pals


Pardon my candor, but that is a nice butt.		The house in the background implies spookiness.

Characters:

	Movie:

Reflections:

Host Seg Rank:

53
-The crew film a spontaneous video that injures crow.

Great!

Invention

: The Mads present Hard Pills to Swallow and the crew have celebrity PEZ dispensers.

Great!

-Tom narrates as Crow needs to appreciate Gypsy.

Classic!!

-The many faces of Tor Johnson.

Great!

-Tom and Crow create a board game, but Joel takes too long with the rules.

Great!

-Everybody's slangin'!

Okay.

Stinger

: Tor implores his guest to rest.

<< >>

321: Santa Conquers the Martians

RPM

8.156

Slow

B-

Space Travel : 1964 : Color :

- Essentials

Andrew's Rank:

Mstie Rank:

RPM Rank:

132


"Science-Fun-Fiction" instead of "Science-Boring-Fiction"? I'm in!		For Christmas, I got you a "Create Your Own Title" game.

Characters:

	Movie:

Reflections:

Host Seg Rank:

42
-Tom and Crow look at Christmas catalogues.

Okay.

Invention

: The Mads' Wish Squisher turns good presents bad and the crew have new Misfit Toys.

Okay.

-The crew sing the action-packed "Patrick Swayze Christmas" carol.

Classic!!

-Joel has other Christmas tapes for the crew to watch.

Great!

-The crew write Christmas essays. Gypsy's is poignant.

Classic!!

-The crew open their stockings. The Mads exchange "gifts".

Great!

Stinger

: Voldar attempts laughing.
-

Andrew's Stinger

: Santa forgets his reindeers' names during an interview.

<< >>

322: Master Ninja

RPM

8.838

Slow

C-

Cops/Spies : 1983 : Color :

- Box Set #20

Andrew's Rank:

110

Mstie Rank:

RPM Rank:

109


"Relax, Cleef. I got this chump."		Oh, yeah? Well my flamethrower can melt film.		Does the "I" imply that there will be a sequel?

Characters:

Yet another failed TV series duct taped into being a movie. This one is about John, Lee Van Cleef, who is the only American to become a ninja, and about a loner named Max, Timothy Van Patten. They meet in a bar and John busts the place up because a policeman was rude to him. Max latches on and wants to become a ninja. John needs transportation and a friend to help him find his lost daughter. The "movie" consists of two of their adventures. The first stars Demi Moore as the victim of an evil sheriff and daughter of a private airport owner. Max and John save the airport from a rich businessman, Clu Gulager, who wants to destroy the airport and buy the land. Demi is not John's daughter. The second story has to do with an Asian mob threatening a bar owned by a man with two daughters. The mob kidnaps one daughter and holds her for ransom, which is the nightclub. What's with all the real estate swindling?! John and Max bust in, beat people up, rescue the daughter, and discover that neither one is John's. So the movie just ends. Your typical early 80's failed TV show. Not too exciting, but just exciting enough for Joel and the bots. Fave Character: Demi. I'm not convinced John is a ninja or that Max can become one. But Demi is always hot.

Reflections:

Host Seg Rank:

63
-The bots construct an engine based on the teenage rebel.

Okay.

Invention

: The Mads have great Intravenous Dinners and Joel has adult pop-up books including "Great Expectations".

Classic!!

-Crow unveils the Van Patten Project, a plan to place a bad actor in every TV movie.

Okay.

-The crew brawl ninja style versus American style.

Great!

-The crew have a whole box of different types of nunchucks.

Classic!!

-The crew redo the Master Ninja theme song.

Okay.

Stinger

: It's some kind of ritual.

<< >>

323: Castle of Fu Manchu

RPM

9.202

Steady

Cops/Spies : 1968 : Color :

- Box Set #23

Andrew's Rank:

143

Mstie Rank:

170

RPM Rank:


I shall refrain from a Christopher "Ree" joke.		Not to be confused with "Steven Spielberg's Castle of Fu Manchu".

Characters:

Joel and the bots HATE this movie. In fact, this was the reigning Worst Experiment until Manos came along. Why so bad? First of all, there is no plot. Well, there is one in which the world's oceans are at risk of being turned to solid ice by Fu Manchu. Second, there are no characters. Well, there is a British agent and a surgeon and Fu Manchu played by Christopher Lee. Third, the few characters and thin plot go nowhere, but here's what I know. Fu Manchu and his VERY spooky daughter kidnap a scientist to help with their evil plan. But the scientist's heart is bad so Fu kidnaps a surgeon and his nurse to fix the guy's heart. While this is going on, the British guy infiltrates Fu's castle and rescues everyone, except for the surgeon and nurse who were already escaping. The surgeon and the nurse fall in love. Fu Manchu's face is superimposed over a shot of his crumbling castle as he claims he will return. Everything else is a complete blur, literally. The color in this movie is awful. But I will say that the music for the opening credits is very nice. Fave character: In a movie this bad, the surgeon's love for his nurse is a gleaming beacon of hope. Ahhhh.

Reflections:

Host Seg Rank:

140
-A happy fanfare song!

Great!

Invention

: The bots have a technological breakthrough invention, Joel redoes the Bighead, and the Mads have a Stinky Bomb.

Okay.

-Crow is upset that Caucasian actors repeatedly play non-Caucasion characters.

Okay.

-The crew freak out over a flying carpet sketch.

Okay.

-Joel has artist renderings on Fu Manchu's life, but the freakout continues.

Okay.

-Joel issues a movie challenge to the Mads, who fail miserably and hilariously.

Great!

Stinger

: Guard takedown!

<< >>

324: Master Ninja 2

RPM

9.595

Speedy

Cops/Spies : 1983 : Color :

- Box Set #20

Andrew's Rank:

101

Mstie Rank:

RPM Rank:


Usually you don't rescue a "target", but whatever.		The ugly hostages, however, are left to die horribly.		Better, well, different, than the first.

Characters:

	Movie:

Reflections:

Host Seg Rank:

11
-Joel and the bots' improv group stinks.

Great!

Invention

: The Mads' Conveyer Belt Buffet is great, as is Joel's Gerbilsphere 2.

Classic!!

-The bots design their own custom vans.

Classic!!

-Crow is General Timothy Van Patten. Babestard!

Classic!!

-Tom pairs fictional detectives with their perfect pet.

Great!

-The crew dress up the Lee Van Cleef doll. Frank odes to Monte Markham.

Okay.

Stinger

: Lee strokes the gerbil.